My Top 5 Learnings From Unsuccessfully Trying To Lose Weight

Justina Nothard
Oct 26, 2024
6 min read

Updated: Nov 1, 2024

Tired of diets and exhausting exercising that get you nowhere? In this blog, I am going to share my biggest realisations from unsuccessfully trying to lose weight over the years that might really surprise you.

I was at the point in my life where I just wanted to lose weight and feel good about my mind and my body. I tried all the diets you can imagine but still kept putting weight back on and felt really frustrated with myself. I know that I am not alone in this feeling, which is why I am happy to share my 5 biggest insights. I hope that they will help you and that you will be able to relate to them and feel that you are not alone.

You can also watch this video on my YouTube channel.

1. No one is coming to save me

My first and biggest realisation was this: no one was coming to save me. Maybe that can sound tough, but it's true, and at the same time, this can be very empowering. I realised that if I wanted to achieve my goals, I needed to take full responsibility for my actions and decisions. In the past, I often found myself waiting for the perfect moment or the right motivation to kickstart my journey. I thought that maybe a friend would join me or a program would magically provide all the answers. But the reality is that lasting change comes from within. I have to be the one to make the commitment, set my goals, and take the necessary steps.

This mindset shift has empowered me. Instead of waiting for external validation or support, I've started to create my own path. I've realised that while support from friends and family is valuable, the responsibility ultimately lies with me. No one else can do the work for me; it's my journey, and I have to own it. Embracing this idea has made me more resilient and focused. When I rely on someone else to do it for me, I lose my power and agency. I become a passive participant in my own life, waiting for someone else to take the reins. So, I wanted to take power back into my hands and finally trust my own decisions, which leads to my second biggest realisation.

2. I had to do my own research

I had to do my own research because I felt that everyone was talking about their experience or trying to confuse me and sell me something. Like many of you, I have tried so many diets, like reducing carbs, the keto diet, and intuitive eating. I was even vegan for 4 years. I tried different exercise regimes. I joined the gym and counted calories just to realise that none of it worked. Many people might say that if you just stick to this diet or exercise regime, you will definitely lose weight. Of course, but it's easier to say than to do, and there's a big difference between short-term results and long-term success that lasts. I felt that there was more to it than just weight loss.

Weight loss is a huge business, and there is money involved in a business like this, you need people who are constantly confused, not being able to lose weight and make their own decisions. And just like marketing, you will hear new health trends, diet fads, and another amazing superfood, you get the idea. According to the report published by Facts and Factors, the global weight loss and weight management market size was worth around USD 224.27 billion in 2021 and is predicted to grow to around USD 405.4 billion by 2030.

So, in a way, there is a huge incentive for companies to keep people in a vicious cycle of losing weight and gaining back rather than genuinely trying to help. Remember the YouTube 'primal living' guru Liver King, who built a $100M fitness empire. He actually admitted that he was on steroids! (Liver King leaked steroids email apology).

I am not saying that all businesses or influencers are bad. I love and like businesses and influencers. I have a weight loss business, but I was just tired of hearing other people tell me what is best for me and how and in what ways I should lose weight. The problem I saw was that if you don't succeed, the business could just easily blame you. You didn't follow the diet or exercise routine; it's your fault! And, sometimes, a business will not be genuine because they want you to buy more dried animal organs, like in the Liver King's case, and that's not cool!

3. There is no 'one solution'

The third biggest realisation for me was that I was focusing on finding the one solution. How many times have you heard, don't eat sugar, don't eat carbs, don't eat bread, don't eat white stuff, don't eat after 6 pm, don't drink alcohol, don't eat fruit, don't eat meat. Oh gosh. I realised that our body is so complex and our overall well-being can be influenced by so many different factors, like hormones, microbiome, how we individually react to certain foods, the food in our culture we were raised in, what is in our DNA, if we are stressed or not, or if have enough sleep.

So just, simply focusing only on one ingredient to add or remove just doesn't make any sense. And even the diet as a whole, let's say a keto diet, will have different effects on my body and another person's body because we are different. So, while doing research, I realised that a balanced diet and lifestyle are more important than just adding or removing ingredients from your diet. If you remove one or two macronutrients which you might think are bad or just because it's on trend not to eat it, you might be removing the food that your body actually needs, so this can lead to other negative health consequences.

This focus on diet-led solutions that focuses on certain types of food will only put you in a vicious cycle that takes your focus away from the right solution, which is to focus on your overall health, which requires a full range of foods to truly nourish your body.

4. Mind and body connection

I was also surprised that very few people I found were talking about mental health while trying to achieve health goals. My fourth biggest realisation was that I must take care of and support my mind while losing weight. Our body and mind are connected, and we cannot treat the body and mind as two separate parts of ourselves. What I have learned while studying counselling is that there is a tool that behavioural approach psychotherapists use in their practices. It is called hot cross bun, which is basically the model of how our thoughts, emotions, physical state, and behaviour influence one another and are closely intertwined. If we can modify our behaviour, thoughts, feelings, and environment or improve our self-awareness of one of these, we can influence our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and physical state, as well as our environment.

I felt that I really needed a bigger purpose in mind in order to take care of my mind. It was not just good enough for me to focus on the numbers on the scale. I thought, ok, even if I achieve those numbers, what's after? Going back to the same habits and putting that weight back on, over even more. That would be really mentally difficult. So, I felt the weight loss had to have a bigger meaning, to be seen in a different picture rather than focusing on just numbers on the scale or how toned you are because if don't feel good and healthy in your body and mind, no numbers or perfect body will make you feel differently about yourself which leads me to my fifth and last biggest realisation.

5. Self-acceptance

And that is, I have to accept myself and be kind to myself no matter the numbers on the scale or failures along the way. Now, when I can reflect on my weight loss journey, I can say that self-acceptance and kindness toward myself are crucial, no matter what the scale says or how many setbacks I face. You know, it's so easy to get caught up in the numbers. We often think that our worth is tied to our weight or how we look. But I've realised that true progress comes from loving myself, regardless of those fluctuating numbers. Celebrating small wins and achievements like choosing a healthy meal, saying no to yourself, learning something new, discovering new tastes, or just pushing yourself to go for a walk without letting a bad day or two derail my progress.

Being kind to myself means understanding that setbacks are part of the journey. Instead of beating myself up over it, I had to remind myself that growth isn't always smooth; you will have ups and downs and plateaus, but the most important thing is that this journey is in the right direction. And there is always an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. Ultimately, this weight loss journey is about becoming healthier and happier, not just about the numbers on the scale. So, remember your body, your mind is your business, and you are 100% worthy and capable of taking care of yourself.

If you are looking for a structured plan and practical tools on how to come to self-acceptance of your body and your relationship with food, you can check out the My BMB program on my website. I would love to help!